You're Probably Mad At Me Again... Let Me Stand Up For Myself

Look, if everyone says "Oh, it's the teenage years. Everyone makes mistakes and stupid decisions when they're teenagers. No big deal.", then PLEASE tell me why everyone judges me when I do exactly that...?
I'm being a teen!!
I use to tell you everything, but you keep JUDGING me.
Stop.
Please?
If you're really my friend, you will hear me out.
Listen, I know I've fucked up my life a lot.
But it's not ALL my fault. Do you not remember my father? Do you not remember my mother and her harsh words? Do you not remember all the times I've cried due to other people and their misinterpretations of who I am? Do you not remember me BAWLING my eyes out because I couldn't find a connection with God?
Do you not remember how much pain I've gone through in my life?

Yes, I understand you would perfer if I responded to my life in a healthier way. But look, it's my life. These are my decisions. And I really don't want them getting in the way of our friendship.
You forget that I've hit rock bottom. Don't forget that from there, the only place to go is up. YOU told me that yourself.
If you believe that, then don't misunderstand.
I'm on my way back up.
Recently, things have been changing a lot and I've been happier.
My life IS turning around.

But that DOESN'T mean I'm gonna stop being who I am, doing what I do.
You accepted me for who I was and what I did before, so what happened? How come NOW you decide to get mad at me?
I'll say it again.
I'M A TEENAGER. I'M DOING WHAT TEENAGERS DO.
I'm having fun.
I'm making mistakes.
I'm creating memories, and learning from them.

So, please. Let me live. Let me fuck up. Let me go through everything a Depressed teenager will go through.
Don't hate me when I do something stupid. Help me when I need help. Be a friend to me when I'm being smart. And when I'm not, then just don't acknowledge it. Please? I'm tired of living my life, and then worrying that you or Mackenzie will hate me because I am doing exactly that, living.

I know I'm letting you down, because I'm not living up to your expectations for me.

To drive this away from being towards one specific person, this post now is to everyone who reads it.
You guys who think I'm the only one who does shit like this, let me tell you... You're SO incredibly wrong.
You forget that everyone else in town acts like me too.

I love all of my friends and I don't want to lose anybody. But I need you all to listen to me.
I am not a bad person.
And I have reasons for doing what I do.
Keep in mind that I've been going through MORE than I can handle in the past 2 months.
I've been stuck in hell, and now that I'm finally climbing out, you all decide to judge me. PLEASE STOP.