I have never felt like this before.
It's amazing to have someone in your life who can make you this happy.
I just got done talking with my incredible boyfriend. He really has no idea how great he is.
He doesn't give himself enough credit, but seriously, he's perfect for me. I don't know what I'd do without him.
I love that I can be so open and honest with him. We can be REAL with eachother and there's nothing wrong with it. We accept each other for who we are.
Not only can we be real, but we can goof on and be idiots together too. I LOVE having a playful relationship. We can cuss at each other one minute and then be kissing the next. I know he loves me. And it's the most amazing feeling ever to know that the guy you love, actually loves you back.
Today, I told Ryan about some of the things he does that I love!
Examples: When he calles me baby, says he loves me, hugs me from behind, squeezes me tighter, etc.
I was really honest with him today about things I like about him.
And he liked hearing it. Like I said, he has no idea how great of a boyfriend he is.
All of my friends are happy for us, and a lot of his are too, even though they give him shit for it. (Eh, they're guys. What do you expect?)
I've gotten SO many comments from people saying we're cute together. It's a great feeling hearing that from people. It's just even MORE reassurring that we belong together.
Ryan, I love you. And I want you to know that you're everything to me. I know we barely get ANY time together outside school, which is killing us, but the wait will be worth it, when we CAN be together. It makes those moments even more special.
When we're together, we're practically inseperable. I hate that things like going to class can tear us apart.
We're both so excited for Summer because that's when we can actually spend time together.
It'll be amazing. <3 I know that because 1. It's summer. and 2. All of my time spent with you, is amazing.
Even when we're saying goodbye. Which we both know I can't stand.
Like every other couple, Ryan and I have issues. We're don't have a perfect relationship and we'll both be the first people to say so. Our emotions get in the way a lot, we argue, and fight every now and then... But the great thing is that our love surpasses it all and gets us through it. In the end, we get through everything together. Because we know we love each other too much to let anything get in the way. Whether it be an internal or external force. We love eachother.
One of the best moments as a couple, I think, is right after a gentle kiss and we open our eyes to look at eachother. It's that split second when the world freezes, and it's just us. That's one of my favorite moments.
I love Ryan. And if we were older, I would love to marry him and be together until death do us part.
But as for now, him being 18, and me almost 16... I couldn't be happier with where we're at.
Our love has grown and I can feel it getting stronger each day. My friends can see it happening, too.
Maria says we use to play "cat-and-mouse", flirting with each other without realizing we were.
Apparently in the Radio room, everytime I looked away, he would look at me, and vice versa.
I remember back to those days when every little glimpse towards me that I caught, made me smile.
I couldn't help but look at him all the time. He made me happy even before I fell in love with him.
There is one day I remember specifially... I was really Depressed that day and I walked into Radio late. I had been crying, and I'm sure my eyes showed that. I walked in, and saw Ryan. We shared a look for an instant, and I couldn't look at him any more. I saw he was concerned, but I couldn't face him. So, Trevor and I stood outside the Radio room and he asked me what was going on, so I told him everything really fast, so I wouldn't break down crying again. I remember Maria coming out and saying something about Ryan. But when I turned around to respond to her, Ryan was approaching to talk to us, and I froze. So I just left and took a walk around the school. I doubt he remembers any of this. But that day, I swore he loved me, even before he truly did.
My point is, I use to be this random little Sophomore girl he barely knew. He cared about me, but I was just another girl. And now look at us. We're totally in love with each other. We've been together for 2 months and we couldn't be happier. (Unless we could spend more time together outside school, that is.)
I don't know. This post was just a lot of random thoughts about how much I love my boyfriend. I've been writing this for a while, and I SHOULD have been doing homework. I was talking to Ryan all day though, and frankly, that was more important to me than grades.
What else is new?
I should be getting to sleep soon.. I'm so tired and I've been having a lot of issues sleeping recently.
I wish Ryan were here. I would love to curl up on his chest and sleep soundly, with his heartbeat in my ear, and his arms wrapped firmly around my body. There, he would hold me close and whisper an "I love you" to me as I let myself drift to sleep, surrounded by his presence. <3
I love you, Ryan. Goodnight. I hope you're dreaming of me, because I know I'll dream of you tonight. <3
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