Truth is, the lyrics to that song are perfect yet again for my life.
I hate my house. This is absolutely NOT my home.
This is where I sleep.
This is where I have to be when I can't be anywhere else.
My HOME... That's with the people who love me. My friends. My boyfriend.
People who TRULY care about me. Not those who pretend like they do because they have to... Meaning, my parents. Actually, correction... My mom and Jimmy.
My dad cares about me...
I am NOT going to talk about him right now though. I'm crying enough as it is.
I'm talking to Ryan and it's literally taking everything in me to not scream out my emotions.
I'm constantly getting chills because I've reread his last text about 27 times... "Baby baby baby, what am I gonna do with you? :) i love you, and no matter what, im not going to let you go."
That means so much more to me than he knows.
Right now, I just want to be anywhere but here... In this house. I haven't felt at home here since mom and Jimmy left for Vegas and were gone for a week...
Ever since they came back, I've felt trapped here. I haven't told anyone that.
Because nobody will understand.
Sarah's dad asked me if I didn't want to go home when I was at their house the other night. I cried and said "no. I don't want to go home..."
That's the first time in a while I've let out emotion about living at my house.
I can't handle this anymore. It's SO much more than just this house, but honestly, if I lived somewhere else, I'd be WAY happier than I am here.
If I didn't live with my mom.... I'd be a MUCH happier person.
Someone get me out. Please. For the love of God.
No comments:
Post a Comment