There Was Me... And Then There Was You

After switching out of P. Fit and then out of Americana during 2nd period, I finally joined Radio.
I liked the class right from the start. And I noticed someone.. It was you.
You were easily one of the most attractive people I've ever seen.
I also noticed how into music you were..
That was something I couldn't resist. Because I'm the same way.
In late September, I started to like you.
You had no idea who I was. Or, I thought you didn't.
We talked. And we became great friends.
You showed yourself more to me... You were exactly like me.
Except you were perfect.
November 10th was your birthday. I painted you something ridiculous. For some crazy reason, you liked it, and appreciated it.
Maybe you just said that?
I wouldn't blame you.
More time passed, and liking you, turned to loving you.
We texted every day practically until we fell asleep.
I saw you every day in 2nd period and it was easily the best part of my days.
Every day we got closer and closer. And people started to notice... I don't know if you got as much shit for it as I did...
But I knew I wasn't gonna let it get to me. Even if it was hard.
Eventually, I told you my feelings. You were so understanding about it all and you were so sweet about it. Of course that made me love you more.
You were amazing. That's all there was to it.
The more messed up my life got, the more I needed to be away from people. I tried to isolate myself into the Radio room. I knew only you and Drew would be there.
You both let me vent. So I could relax and take a deep breath before facing the world, and the people/things attacking me.
Nobody knew how badly I was hurting inside, all the time... Apart from you, Mackenzie and Sarah.
The girls understand... But not like you do.
You always know what to say to get me through it. Whatever it is I said to you, you had the perfect response.
On my worst night... A night I will never forget..
I was in more pain than I have ever been in before in my life.
I was bawling, and thrashing in pain. So much emotional pain that it turned to my body physically hurting. The only person I could talk to was you. Nobody else could help me.
You saved me that night.
The night that I could have sworn was my last.

From there... Things got better. You stayed by my side through everything. Our relationship grew. I think we both knew it.
You got me through hard times, and I did the same for you when you needed someone.

When New Year's hit... I made a resolution to be happy. To be as happy as possible, even with my Depression constantly picking at my insides.
We'll see how that goes.

January 16th reassured me that it could be easier than I thought.

You texted me the most amazing thing I could have ever read.
You told me you loved me too.
It was something impossible for me to believe.
I cried.
I smiled.
Everything inside me told me you weren't lying.
Then it hit me.
You weren't.
It wasn't a dream, like many others I have had, and woken up to.

It was reality. And I couldn't understand it because it didn't make sense.
I know we're perfect for each other... But still..
Someone as amazing as you, could love someone like me?
How was it possible?

All at once, my life went from Hell, to Heaven.
Nothing was wrong.. Everything worked out!
It's like Depression disappeared. I know that's not the case, but it was incredible.
I've never been so happy.
You make me feel like I'm someone. Like I'm important. Like there's reason to have faith... And there is. You're my reason. You're the only reason I need, because you're the most important one.
Ever since that first text of "I love you too, Lindsey."...
I feel like I'm ready to cry at any moment. Of happiness, of course!
I hold it back, though. And it makes me smile, and blush way more than I usually do.
There were times at school, when I could have stared into your eyes forever. Not saying anything, because I was speechless.
I didn't know what to do or say. Hell, I still don't.
All I know is that hugging you was the best part(s) of my day. I didn't want to let go of you. I felt safe. It was just me and you. Nobody else existed... Until the bell rang.
And everything shattered away like glass.
But then when you were with me, everything was fixed again.
I know you deserve better than me. But you're everything to me. I'm so lucky to have you in my life, let alone to have you fall in love with me.
Nothing else could make me happier.
You're amazing.
And from everything in my heart, Ryan...
I love you.