Walked home in the dark.
Listening to all the music I had that was how I felt.
I was bawling.
The entire way home... I was crying.
Instead of CUTTING, I kinda like, shoved a safety pin into my upper thigh as I was walking until the pain was sharp enough that I had to intake a breath really fast.
After that, I figured that was enough because I don't want to mess up my 14/15 weeks.
I walked home slowly, listening to music and singing out my emotions.
As I got to Ace, I was still crying.. Then the worst thing that could have happened at that moment, HAPPENED.
I saw Ashlee. We looked right at each other. Seriously, I stopped breathing.
Everything got slow and I thought I was gonna faint. Tears were pouring out of my eyes, and I tried to keep walking, but fell to my knees and threw up outside of the store.
I made it home, and mom's been taking it easy on me because she knows how much pain I'm in, so I just went to my room... And I've been feeling a lot of nothingness. Numb, cold, pain.
Talking to Garrett is helping, though. I've been chatting him and facebook and he's been keeping my mind off of it all...
I'm glad him and I are friends.
Now, it's time to go watch the meteor shower and miss Ryan. I'm gonna try to connect to him.. Hopefully he will sense something from me.. I hope we have a strong enough connection that he will. I love you, babe. <3
From now on... Who knows what will happen. All I know, is I'm gonna be crying myself to sleep for the next month, probably...
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