Tonight, I've been thinking about how things have changed. Where we've come, from where we've been.
At first, I was thinking about me, Brogin and Ken. How our friendship grew from nothingness, to what it is today. Pure, REAL friendship. Today proved that we don't have to hang out ALL the time to be best friends. Last time I saw them REALLY proved that, when I saw how happy Brogin was to see me. Ken wasn't in a good mood that day, but today... Was different... And by different, I mean better.
It was like it use to be. The three of us, going to 'Yo Cup', joking and laughing at bullshit, talking and catching up, coming back here, and playing Mario Kart and goofing off on the internet. We were all, basically cudding, on the couch reading and watching funny shit. And it was as always. We had a good time. And that really gave me faith in our friendship and my trust in them.
Then as they left, I went around town, in deep thought about everything. Life. The past 2 years particularly.
I thought about Freshman year. And everything I went through. How my friendships with Steve, Mackenzie, Brogin, and everyone were so different than they are now.
Steve and I were a "thing".
Mackenzie and I were absolute best friends.
Brogin and I barely knew each other.
Scout and I were practically sisters.... God, I miss that... I hope I can get that back one day.
Ken and I didn't even really know each other existed.
This is how things have changed.
But not just that. I mean, Freshman year, Ryan caught a glimpse of me. I don't know how many times he noticed me, I just know of one. It's crazy to think he knew of me back then, when I didn't know of him.
Then I think of Sophomore year. Early first tri, when I joined Radio. I met him, fell HARD in love, and thought I was invisible to not only him, but everyone... Everyone except teachers and my few friends... Sometimes they were my only reminders that I was real. That I actually existed.
I walked around, listening to music everywhere I went, as I always do, thinking that nobody could see me. I was just in my own world. Until every now and then, I would see Ryan... Or I would catch him looking at me. I had no idea what to do. I was a lost little girl with no hope, and no chance with someone like him. I knew it. But I couldn't help it. We had a connection. Something about him was drawing me to him more and more every day. I just wanted to be around him.. And I did all I could to be around him as much as possible. Except for when my dark side hit and I didn't DARE let him see that... So I found excuses to avoid him... As much as I could anyway. When I was in class, I didn't have much of a choice but to choke it back and hope he didn't notice. But he saw right through my mask... Because he has one just like it.
That was the beginning. The beginning of something I thought was impossible... and improbable.
But it happened.
He fell in love with me too.
From there, everything changed. I was no longer the hopeless girl, going everywhere with fresh love for a boy on my mind. Now, I was a very hopeful girl, going everywhere with love for a boy that had finally broken in.
We went from friends to dating in a time span of 3 days. 3 very awkward, amazing, REAL days.
Now look at us.
I remember before we were dating, when he gave me a ride home from the volleyball playoffs... That was the first time I had seen his little red car, that I had no idea I would eventually grow to love..
We had so many memories that I can recall simply from thinking of the car.
Then he graduated. That's when the little car full of memories went away...
Then we hit that rough patch in our relationship. About a month straight of fighting and ignoring.
That was when he got his truck. And I remember the first day I sat in that truck with him, fixing everything that had been broken during that month.
After that, he got his house in town, and it was the best thing that ever happened to our relationship. Though it was a short time.
I think of all that, and it makes me realize how fast life is moving. How things are passing by every day.. I mean, Ryan's in college now...
SO much has changed, and the more I think about it... It's really sad. Sometimes, I wish we could go back to how things were. When everything was fresh and new...
But now, everyone is so use to everything. And it's saddening... but at the same time, comforting.
I don't know. But sometimes, I REALLY wish I had a remote. And could rewing, pause, and fast forward time.
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