This morning, I woke up and got on facebook.
The first thing I see is Ryan's status "end of an era... Goodbye home..."
Instantly panicked and started crying, thinking he already left without saying goodbye.
I read his message about how he's been keeping some of the stuff I gave him close to him at all times. I cried even more.
After a couple hours of crying, there was a knock on my door. It was him.
My baby was at the door, and as soon as I opened it, I jumped on him.
He held me and told me he was sorry. That's when I realized what was happening.
We weren't gonna spend the day together.
He had to leave, and he had to leave soon.
We cried and were really straight with each other.
We told each other all we could, and all we felt was necessary before he left.
We even laughed and joked around a little, trying to make it a semi-positive experience.
I'm gonna miss him so much.... I already do...
After he left with his parents, I broke down.
I started bawling for almost 3 hours.
Mom and John tried comforting me before they left, but even after they left, I was still crying.
I eventually pulled myself together after reading my old journal and reading about all these memories with Ryan.
I felt a little better, and got ready to be seen by public, put on my sunglasses, and left the house wearing almost everything that Ryan had bought for me. I had every single note he's written me in my pocket, and listened to "There Is" by Boxcar Racer... One of our songs.
Baby... I love you so much. And I miss you already. <3
But we're gonna be okay and we're gonna make it through.
I promise.
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