Staying Strong Through All The Bullshit.

Mom and John....
They're making these 14 cut-free weeks become harder and harder to continue.
They're making staying alive hard.

But, through all the bitching, screaming, insulting, threatening that I receive every day, I suck it up until they've said what they wanted to say, and then I leave the house. And I'm gone for the rest of the night.
Whenever I'm home, I'm yelled at, so I stay out of the house.
It's my daily routine until school starts and I have no choice about where I go anymore.

Through all this hell...
I stay strong for three reasons and three reasons only.

1. Three Days Grace, Breathe Carolina, and the other musicians/bands that have helped me out... If I die, then what they did for me, was for nothing, and I won't have my chance to meet them and thank them in person for saving my life.
2. When I'm 18, I'm out of here. Ken and I are going to college/tattoo school together, and then I'm off to Cali to start my future with Ryan and all our friends. And if things get too bad before then, my brothers promised to get me out and rescue me.
3. Pride. If I can make it through this, I will have proved EVERYONE wrong about me. And I will proe to the world that I am strong and I WILL go somewhere with my life. That I'm NOT hopeless. That I'm NOT worthless. That I am not weak. And that I am NOT the piece of trash everyone treats me like.

I'm surviving now, so that I can live out my dreams later.
I've now seen some of the bands that mean a lot to me.
But eventually, I will MEET them and I will thank them.
And I will get a tattoo for both TDG and BC, if not more for others.

I'm surviving now, so that I can have a future and a family with Ryan when we're older.
So I can be with all the people I truly love and all the people that truly love me.
So I can finally be happy.