So Much On My Mind That I Can't Even Blog About Them All

My MANY thoughts of today:

 

• I have a headache.
• I wish mom wasn't such a bitch and I could do whatever I wanted again.
• What would I have done if Ryan was serious about leaving town?
• What would my life have turned out to be if I actually ran away with him?
• I wonder if Eli's serious about the conversation we had about God last night?
• I'm glad I'm still important to Steven. I'm glad he still cares about me and enjoys being around me.
• I wish my life would get back on track.
• I want to be happy and live a good life... I know I need to change in order for that to happen. But I'm not ready yet...
• I wish I wasn't so scared of everything.
• I want to watch Tarzan... <3 That movie means so much more to me now than ever.
• I miss Ryan.
• I love this music.. I can't wait to go to some concerts this summer. WARPED TOUR ESPECIALLY.
• I want Summer..
• I wish I never had to go back to school and could still have a potentially good life.
• I wonder when Steve's coming over to pick me up?
• I'm so nervous but so excited for Choir Contest on Tuesday.
• I'm really tired...
• I should do my homework.. But I probably won't.
• I need some hot apple cider.
• I want to go on a date to an amusement park with a bunch of our friends.
• I can't wait for YoungLife tomorrow.
• I wonder if mom's still gonna let me get a tattoo soon? I wonder if Sarah or Ryan would go with me?
• I wish Jake would text me back...
• I really want some meat right now. Like ribs or steak sounds really good.
• I wonder if Scout's being real with me or if she's bullshitting.
• I still have a headache.
• I hope I can finally thank Ian tomorrow at YL for giving me the $50 towards camp.
• My 16th birthday is in 10 days... I really want a couple things.. A new ipod (So I can actually live.). A hookah because they're awesome and hella fun. A gym membership. A tattoo. Or a shit ton of money so I can go shopping... Or tickets to a Three Days Grace concert. (or any other one of my favorite bands.) If I got any of those, I'd be STOKED.
• I don't think I'm gonna stay up and wait for Steven. I might just fall asleep. :p
• I'm curious as to what would happen if I opened up to Ryan more... Let him witness my most passionate moments... I wonder how he'd react to seeing the different sides to me...?
• I feel so calm.. I'm really tired. I wish I could cuddle with Ryan. haha.
• It's hilarious that I remember so much that I bet Ryan doesn't remember at all, and I'm kinda curious to see if he remembers the stuff I do. haha.
• I REALLY don't want to go to school tomorrow.. Or at all really.
• I should study the choir solo so I can try out for it tomorrow.
• I keep getting distracted by all these thoughts. My brain is just wandering right now.
• I should probably go to bed soon.