I fucking hope you're happy, Ashlee.
Your whole act finally brought down my life to its last strand of hope.
And now I'm back to wanting to die. I can't get myself to pull out my razors again... It's been so long since my last cut.. Which coincidentally was caused by Ashlee, too.
But God, it's tempting... My wrists are pulsating again. Not bad enough though.
After talking to Ken, I can't stop bawling.
I've been crying uncontrollably for about an hour.
Everyone is gone. And here I am, left alone to fight my emotions by myself. Ken doesn't want to see me. And she's the only that's left.
I will never forgive myself for what I've done in my past.
I've been in and out of hell before, but now I'm back in, and I don't know how long I'll be here.
And I have no one to drag me out but myself.
Hell, I wonder if Ryan's mom still reads my blog.. I wonder if she reads it and says what "The Girls" say. I'm overreacting. I'm over dramatic.
Fuck all of you guys.
You have NO idea what I've lived through... You have NO idea how I feel on a daily basis.
But nobody cares, so I don't know why I bother anymore...
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