This Is Exactly What I Needed... Thanks...

It's been 7 weeks since my last cut.
I want to relapse.
So bad.
My wrists and my legs are pulsating like they do when I need to break skin.

Ken wants me to come over so she knows I'm safe and that I can go to sleep okay, but it's 2:40am and mom and John are fighting... I don't know when I'd be able to leave...
I'm so grateful to have Ken and Brogin... They both actually CARE about me... I've NEVER met such true friends as them. EVER. They care about me more than anyone else I know, except maybe Ryan.
They take care of me emotionally... as if we're family. I mean... We're all we have...
They enjoy being around me.. even when I'm pissed or depressed. They WANT to be around me. Unlike all my other friends who get annoyed or want to leave. They WANT to make sure I'm okay. And even when I'm down, they want to cheer me up and they do everything they can. I have never been so lucky to have someone in my life.

I've been listening to Breathe Carolina like a bitch recently. I've grown to LOVE LOVE LOVE them. They've been getting me through a lot of shit since summer started.
They're the reason I'm not cutting right now... Them, and Ken. She asked me to not.. So I'll try my hardest to stay away from my razors...

What do I do now?
Prepare.
Like my friend's band name...
Prepare For Impact.
That's what I have to do.
Because I DOUBT things are gonna get much easier from here.

Get ready, Lindsey... Because you're about to be hit by a shit storm. But as long as you have Ryan, Brogin, Ken, and Stuart... You're make it through. I promise. <3