I Knew It Was Too Good To Be True...

It's always too good to be true.
Nobody ever stays in love with me.
They are for a while, and then something happens.

I seriously thought Ryan and I would get married. I seriously thought that we could live together for the rest of our lives and be happy...
Now I'm not sure...

He fell out of love with me.. What am I suppose to do about that? How can I get him to fall back in love with me?
Tasha says we might have to break up... In order for him to remember his love for me and we can make everything go back to how it was...
But I don't want that to happen...
I just want Ryan to fall back in love with me and STAY in love with me...

God.. And I can just picture his mom reading this saying "I told you so.. High school relationships never work."
GOD. I can't handle this.
I'm already bawling! WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE AGAINST US? Ryan tells me just about everything they say that has to do with me... I love that MY parents are excited for us and accept Ryan, but his parents are the opposite...
I just don't get it.
WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME?
Do I really come off as such a horrible fucking person?

I'm sorry I'm not a Class A, perfect human being. I'm sorry I'm not Angela! I'm sorry I KNOW I'm not fucking good enough for Ryan.
It isn't MY fault he fell in love with me! I didn't do anything to make that happen...
But hey.. Now he's out of that... Who knows what will happen now? I guess his parents will get what they wanted...

I know I'm probably gonna get in deeper shit by posting some of my true feelings... His mom will read it and will probably just hate me more..
But I don't even think I care anymore.. My life is just going straight down back into that hellhole I'm so use to...

At least I have Sarah, Brogin and Ken...
But seriously.. Sometimes they aren't gonna be enough...
I'm sorry I'm so weak.. I'm sorry I've lived through HELL and it's damaged me.

But please don't act like you know me..
Don't pretend you know how I feel.
You don't know how I feel.
Nobody does.
Except me.

I don't think I've ever felt my heart break before... Until now.